Since I cannot reverse time what do I do now?
By RehabRoy at 8 February, 2010, 2:39 am
I am on the methadone program and have been clean and sober for 1 year 11 months and two days, up until Sunday evening that is. Now I didn’t use down which is good, but I did use meth. For what reason I don’t know, or I don’t know if I know. What I don’t know is what to do now. My idiot side feels like ‘oh well I used so maybe I should just keep on using’, but then the practical side says to just keep working one day at a time. So what if I had a slip. Obviously there is a reason I feel I should go back on drugs full time so maybe I need to figure out what is wrong. Or something. To be honest I am pretty disgusted with myself right now. I wasn’t even craving dope. I am so disapointed in myself I think it would be easier for me to continue on high rather than deal with being mad at myself. I promised my son (now 7) when I got clean that I would never use again and I let him down. He was not with me when I did it. I can’t tell him. & I have 2 know I failed him. I am so mad. What do I do?
‘Down’ is what I call morphine or heroin
I use to do both ‘up’ (meth) and then ‘down’ (heroin). That is why I am on the methadone program, it helps ppl get off and stay off ‘down’. The category that both heroin and morphine falls into is: ‘Opiates’
I have not done any of that. Only meth (speed).
Categories :
Methadone Programs
I’m so proud of you for making it clean that far! Stop now… the more you go back to that lifestyle the harder it will be to get out. Do it for your son.
Don’t beat yourself up too bad.
We all make mistakes.
If you don’t forgive yourself, how can others forgive you.
Just put it behind you and move on.
I saw a show once tht said that a slip-up is a part of recovery. So you made a mistake, you are human! Please try to not do it again, you went all that time being sober don’t give up now!! Do it for your son. Good luck and don’t dwell on a mistake learn from it, and try to do better next time!
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. So you had a slip. So what? Stop beating yourself up about it.
Today is day 1 all over again.
Good luck kid.
You’re doing incredibly well.
Try your very best to resist using. You know that you made a mistake, but you’ve got an excellent motivation to stay clean. Once you’ve had another clean year you’ll look back and say “I had a little blip – so what?”
PS You haven’t gone back to day #1 Today is your 762nd (or whatever – I struggled to work out the number) clean day out of 763. Not a bad percentage!!
One of the most difficult things in the world is to live right here right now. Just that, today, this moment, here, reality. Don’t look for excuses, life is more difficult without than with.
Look for help, just a slip and I would say don’t even think about it, that is the past and we are in the present now. Regret, guilt and feeling self destructive doesn’t help much.
I was an addict too and I now what it feels like, but I am here out of there, and living my life, and you can do the same.
Good Bless you!!! and Good luck!!!
Dont get discourage, we all live and learn from our mistakes.
That is all about growin up and older.
Get off the doctor drugs which could be more harmful than the illegals u took.
Get u some B complex vitamins and B12 for the brain.
think positive and eat blueberries for your brain.
U are in control and off whatever, so forget the past and move on.
If you are that angry with yourself, give yourself time to yell and scream, then get over it. I know it’s harder than that, but don’t push yourself into doing drugs, use this as a greater tool for staying away from them.
Stay in the program, find someone to talk to, and get on with life. You slipped up – ONCE – so let this be a lesson to you that you are weaker than the drugs and get a therapist or doctor or someone willing to help you. And good luck!!! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT, NOT JUST FOR YOURSELF, BUT FOR YOUR SON WHO NEEDS YOU ALIVE AND WELL!!!!!!
No idea on some of the details (‘down’?), but — keep in mind that everybody screws up. It’s how one deals with screwing up that’s important.
It sounds to me like you’ve made quite a change from your old lifestyle. Congrats on making it that far. A slip is nothing to beat yourself up over. You already know you made a mistake. You worked so hard to get clean and stay clean that long. I’m sure your son is very proud of you. You don’t need to tell him about the slip, just keep working to prevent another one. Try making new friends and avoiding all the people who got you to do drugs. Anybody who would offer you drugs or pressure you to do drugs is not a true friend anyway. So ditch all the losers and become a winner. Enjoy life with your son and continue to make him proud of you one day at a time.
You can’t do this alone. Get to your Narcotics Anonymous group and go to a meeting a day. Or, just to an Alcoholics Anonymous group—anything, just so you are in the right and safe place.
This path of self-destruction is very common—many people over-spend, over-eat, etc. It is not DESTINY—you can do it, but you can’t do it alone. You have a lot of positives going for you, you just have to use them all—you’re using the internet for help, and that’s great.
Structure your day, do what needs to be done to keep you healthy, keep your surroundings healthy, and build safe and healthy routines into your daily life. A lot of the temptation of drugs, and of over-spending, over-eating, and other behaviors involves opportunity. Get out of situations that lead to those opportunities.
But, get to a meeting–daily.
Above all DON’T GIVE UP! It has been said by many that relapse is a part of recovery. Be nice to yourself! You have just found out that you don’t need a reason to use. Guard yourself against substance abuse. I know its hard. It sneaks up on a recovering person. We have to stay away from it if we want a happy life. There are so many good people on drugs. Its hard to ask them to keep their distance because we feel they also deserve love and they do but we are in recovery for the rest of our lives and if we want to live we have to separate ourselves. They will see what we are doing and hopefully it will give them strength to do the same. That is how we are able to help others in addiction. It is cruel for us and them if we don’t get away. Quit for yourself and in doing so you are showing love to all mankind
Good job for seeking help! you are on the right path. You need to get away from those who can provide you with drugs. Let them know your quiting, and that you will talk to them in 10 years. GET AWAY FROM THEM!!! if they are your only friends, then make new friends! GET AWAY FROM THEM.
Buy a ring or a pendent (cheap funny looking one) wear it everyday. People will ask whats up with that cheap piece of jewelry. And tell them its a reminder to be clean, and be proud about it. They will be proud of you, and ask them for accountability. Be proud of the fact that you are trying to get clean. Ask for support.
Read the Gospel of John.